first, imagine being the kid in class who gets asked "is that herpes on your face?"
april 14, 2009
i.
Somewhere between like, two and definitely under six, probably even under five
The one memory of my childhood bedroom, my
naked, hairless body, so young with my arms so
spread, laughing like this was normal. My parents
at either end, with Eucerin cream, slathering down
and up my entire three foot frame. This way I can
sleep at night, but I still have to put those weird
oven mitts on so I don’t scratch. The doctor said
the allergy mattress wasn’t enough and it never
would be.
ii.
About twelve to eighteen, you know, those most vital years of your life
No one had a crush on me during puberty because
I had those gold wire glasses and my cowlick stuck
up funny, but the one thing everyone said was at
least my face was flawless. I never had those nasty
zits and to this day I can count the ones I had on
one hand. Pale, but beautiful skin. They didn’t know
my elbows were scabbed and my fingers were scales.
Still- those were the golden years of eczema.
iii.
Fucking yesterday, like for fucking real, I’m barely even twenty
Hydrocortisone will make the eczema disappear and
shit, it’s a good thing I’ve never wanted kids because
it makes you sterile, too. Benadryl can really take the
pain away, unfortunately it takes all your time away
too because it knocks you out. Vanicream is great for
your face, and you just have to decide whether or not
you’ll take the itch or the burn because when you put
it on, your face feels like the sun the exploded on it.
And I’m so glad the twenty-dollar make up I just bought
is not compatible with my face because that’s a wasted
paycheck, not to mention all those stares in class when
you can’t help but put lotion on your face during lecture.
It’s difficult to ignore your face falling off, but I guess
it’s better than cancer, though at least cancer kills you.
Somewhere between like, two and definitely under six, probably even under five
The one memory of my childhood bedroom, my
naked, hairless body, so young with my arms so
spread, laughing like this was normal. My parents
at either end, with Eucerin cream, slathering down
and up my entire three foot frame. This way I can
sleep at night, but I still have to put those weird
oven mitts on so I don’t scratch. The doctor said
the allergy mattress wasn’t enough and it never
would be.
ii.
About twelve to eighteen, you know, those most vital years of your life
No one had a crush on me during puberty because
I had those gold wire glasses and my cowlick stuck
up funny, but the one thing everyone said was at
least my face was flawless. I never had those nasty
zits and to this day I can count the ones I had on
one hand. Pale, but beautiful skin. They didn’t know
my elbows were scabbed and my fingers were scales.
Still- those were the golden years of eczema.
iii.
Fucking yesterday, like for fucking real, I’m barely even twenty
Hydrocortisone will make the eczema disappear and
shit, it’s a good thing I’ve never wanted kids because
it makes you sterile, too. Benadryl can really take the
pain away, unfortunately it takes all your time away
too because it knocks you out. Vanicream is great for
your face, and you just have to decide whether or not
you’ll take the itch or the burn because when you put
it on, your face feels like the sun the exploded on it.
And I’m so glad the twenty-dollar make up I just bought
is not compatible with my face because that’s a wasted
paycheck, not to mention all those stares in class when
you can’t help but put lotion on your face during lecture.
It’s difficult to ignore your face falling off, but I guess
it’s better than cancer, though at least cancer kills you.
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